On Sunday morning I took Max, our dearly beloved dog, for a walk as usual. It was early in the morning, not my usual winter 7:30 a.m. or so, but more like 9:00 a.m. since it was Sunday. It was about -20 degrees Celsius (-4 Fahrenheit), not an altogether pleasant temperature for walking.
We were a few blocks into the walk when Max had to go, and I was happy! He “did his business” and I took out my plastic bag from my pocket, unrolled it, put my hand inside and using it like a glove, picked up the “poop” and rolled the bag back around it, and put it back, all in plastic, into my coat packet, as usual.
We moved forward to continue the rest of the walk. Lo and behold, Max had to go again within a few feet. This was a rare case; he only does this maybe once every few months, going twice. I stopped, let him go at it, pulled out the bag, and removed my glove from my right hand as usual because I can’t do much with gloves on. I opened the bag, stuck my hand in and scooped up the rest of his doings. Within moments I realized I had managed to open the bag the wrong way and what was in my hand was a lump of dogshit!
I was picking up the rest correctly, in the unused portion of the outside of the bag!
After a moment of panic, I started to laugh!
I was freezing!
There was a lump of dog shit in my hand!
I had to do something with Max, my dog, the bag and the dog shit all at the same time and I had to get home.
BTW, I had to not put my glove back on because I’d ruin the glove!
Step#1- Get the bag closed on both lumps!
Step #2- Spit on my hand and wipe it on my pants!
Step #3- Get my right glove into my left coat pocket and the bag in my right pocket!
Step#4- Walk Max quickly home with my hand, as well as I could possibly do it, inside my right coat pocket being careful not to wipe it on the sides and hold on to the bag!
Step#5- Do not run into any neighbors who wished to talk! (Not a probability at -20c)
Step#6- Remember the sequence of events so I could write this post.
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