Monday, February 27, 2012

I have no idea what you’re talking about

The conversation was short and it kept me laughing for some time.


I saw a friend and said thank you. She asked what for and I explained that when she and her husband had dinner at our house with friends, we spoke about Alzheimer's, as we all had been affected by it. She said this movie basically about Alzheimer’s was really good and they had more than one copy of it. The next week she brought a new copy to my office, still in the original cellophane.


Today she said, “I have no idea what you’re talking about”.
I explained the movie and the stars, and she said, “I have no idea what you’re talking about”.


I can’t stop laughing! If you can't remember a movie you gave me about Alzheimer's, than I guess you really do have a problem. This should not seem funny, I guess.


The movie is: “Away From Her” -  2006


Starring Julie Christie, Gordon Pinset and Olympia Dukakis.


A man coping with the institutionalization of his wife because of Alzheimer's disease faces an epiphany when she transfers her affections to another man, Aubrey, a wheelchair-bound mute who also is a patient at the nursing home.



Saturday, February 25, 2012

You are what you eat, I guess.

In the days when I was first a management person, in the mid 70’s, I had the responsibility for running US national meetings of faculty Department Chairmen from up to 9 different Colleges of Art.

My boss had the responsibility of running the “big” meetings, the meetings of the Presidents and the Deans, and my position was involved at managing a diverse group of independent individuals, and it was seen that as a person “from the faculty”, I would be good at gaining some consensus and moving my project forward.

The most difficult of my job was not the meetings themselves or the consensus, as this was my area of expertise, but actually arranging the meetings. I had some secretarial support, but this whole process was more subtle than it seemed and needed a skilled hand to correctly make it all happen.

Our meetings were usually arranged in different cities around the US, corresponding to the locations of the nine colleges of the then Union of Independent Colleges of Art. This way, one of the tasks was to arrange a tour of the college in the city we visited, and that was a big part of the meeting and instilling a degree of trust between and among the participants.

Faculty were not generally used to these non-traditional meetings, even though they may travel to a discipline meeting once a year, these were out of the normal context. Many traveled and stayed with friends on couches or in sleeping bags, and lived on a per diem stipend for food. In our meetings, I needed to keep the group together for most things, meetings, meals and breaks, except where we scheduled free time off. I needed meeting rooms, not always available at the schools and better off in hotels where we could control breaks with coffee and rolls etc. plus meals together. The problem was, because of the very nature of most art school faculty, to make this appear as inexpensive as possible. This way we would not be accused of being spendthrifts, living off the fat of the land as had been charged in the days before I arrived. It was the sensitivity to the situation that had been overlooked in the past, and the look of the free ride was causing difficulties for the organization to be taken seriously.

So, my perception was that we make it look cheap regardless of the cost. In the grand scale of things, average hotel rooms for 8-10 different people were close to the same price no matter where you went. Coffee and buns etc. was pretty much the same, but silver urns, china and linens would cause more askance looks than paper cups, paper napkins and doughnuts.

My job was to find restaurants, where possible, that looked average, but would be good. I had to find bars or set up bars that would satisfy without tuxedoed waiters serving. I did manage to drink more that year than in the next ten combined.

The response was well founded as I can remember a restaurant in Baltimore that had been visited by the President of our school, and he had taken a visitor and a staff member to lunch. The President was wonderful but a bit penurious, and he remarked to the visitor that this was a very fine albeit expensive restaurant, and as it was lunch he suggested they order sandwiches.

While sitting in the restaurant my later boss arrived with 7 or 8 faculty members in tow and sat down and ordered drinks and dinners, and loudly announced their presence, so that the President took notice. It seemed inappropriate to him that while the three of them were sitting there eating sandwiches, the faculty was downing drinks and dinner on someone’s budget! The perception was on the money, I just needed to try and change it for my part of the program.

As I remember we were in maybe Berkley or some other intellectually focused university town for dinner. I assume it was a San Francisco meeting. I needed a non- big time restaurant without a big expensive menu, where I could take about 20 people from a double meeting. We researched places (before the internet) and found a “hippie” style, really good restaurant, with a bit of entertainment. There was some sort of quiet folk performer in a long dress sitting on a raised floor entertaining for the dinner crowd. It was lovely, we all enjoyed the food and the drinks and wine was plentiful. No one noticed the prices, and everyone had a wonderful time.

While at this time and I no longer remember the cost, I do remember it was considerably more per person than if we had simply gone to any nice San Francisco eatery. The difference was that the meetings continued without complaints of robbing the government, the schools or someone else.

You are what you eat, I guess.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

In the end, we thought this was a missing dog story.

There was a hold up, a slashing and we think a carjacking in Hamilton a few nights ago. The police give chase until they get near my house, many miles away. The car ends up on a lawn, a block away.

They catch one guy and the other guy runs down my street for a block and crashes through my friend’s fence and runs across his lawn and through their neighbor’s lawn in the back. Lights are flickering (police cars) starting at about 1:30 a.m., and when I see the shadows, I assume there must be a snow plow, although I did think it weird as we had no snow when I went to bed.

My friends do not know that any of this has happened and let their dog out in the yard in the morning. The dog goes missing as there is no gate any more on their fence having been smashed open by the bad guy.

My friends get called by the pound after searching all morning for their dog, telling them they have the dog, having been picked up on our street thankfully. The police let them know they are part of a crime investigation so they will not be fined for a loose dog as they had no idea the fence was gone.
In the end, we thought this was a missing dog story.



Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Group Tour

This one is all from memory, my memory of what I was told by others. Its origins are real, and the story itself is basically real, I was just not there. I knew someone who was and it was corroborated, in 1976 or so. The story is real, although not being there I may have a few facts screwed up. There is probably no more than one or two others who were there at the time left to challenge my story.


It was the late 60’s or early 70’s, I know it was before my time involved with the organization. The organization was UICA, the Union of Independent Colleges of Art, at that time comprising of nine US independent, degree granting, colleges of Art. This was the precursor of the current Association of Independent Colleges of Art and Design.


This was a meeting of the Business Managers of the nine art schools, the guys who wore the suits to work. This was the first time they had met and were looking at standardising accounting practices for purposes of comparisons between and among themselves.( You can tell I worked there because I remember the appropriate language.)


The meeting took place in San Francisco, at the San Francisco Art Institute. This was the late 60’s or so and San Francisco was the place to be. Although nine suited businessmen walking around SFAI in suits was quite a sight I’m sure. As they toured, they passed through the main outdoor court where 10-15 students, teachers etc. were all seated and talking. The tour took them through the buildings and returned, sometime later, through the court again. When they returned, they found the same 10-15 people sitting just where they had been, the only difference was as the men walked through the same people, the 10-15 were all naked! It just seemed like such a good idea!

Sunday, February 19, 2012

This is the R rated Dinner party

There were seven of us sitting around the dinner table at my house on Friday night, having devoured the appetisers, and the starter, we had moved on to the main course. We had been drinking, wine and beer and some champagne, as it worked with our lobster and cod dinner. Probably it had been a lot of drinking, but it was a good Friday night, warm for February and fun.

The conversation had drifted around to one of my favourites, growing old! My age factor has presented a psychological problem to me, of course, so I often use it for self-deprecating humor etc. My dinner companions including my wife are all 15 to 20 year plus younger than me, so it does make sense to assume they’ll be around here way past my time.

I had been through the piece about my wife saying to me, “I don’t know what I’ll do when you’re gone!” and my response being, “Where am I going?” One of the much younger young ladies blurts out, “Arthur, on your hundredth birthday I’m giving you a blow job!”
Want to know how to stop a crowd? Just shout out stuff like that! Silence filled the room. I think it was one of those spur of the moment events that was regretted as soon as it was said.

The look on my face, the look on her face and the look on her husband’s face were precious. No one present will ever forget that offer. I needed to find the words to express my feelings.
I said that given our respective ages, I probably, if I even know what a blow job is at 100, would not want one from an 80 year old woman! (My apologies to older woman, I needed a back off position).

We all screamed about that for the next hour of so when everyone finally went home.

I sent an email the next morning that said:
What fun! I just wanted to remind you about my upcoming 100th birthday party next week. Funny how these thengs keep popping up!


What fun! I just want to remind you all about my upcoming 100th Birthday party next week. Funny how these things come up!”


Thursday, February 16, 2012

Valentine's Day Dinner

Lobster was on sale at our local supermarket for $6.99 a pound. Here in the land of the metric system, we still show things in pounds so we really know how much it costs and then we show the cost per kilogram.
So here it was Valentine’s Day and the lobster cooked was red, so what was more perfect?
Our dishwasher died on the weekend and the new one won’t be in until next Monday so the last thing we needed was a big mess to contend with, but it was after all, Valentine’s Day and lobsters were red and on sale.
The answer made itself clear, although we had not used the supermarket before for this purpose.  Although they don’t advertise the service, the supermarket does sell cooked lobsters, usually after a certain point if they hadn’t sold, so they must have the mechanism. We asked them if they would cook the lobsters for us. “Of course”, they said,” and there is no charge!”

So, on Valentines evening, after yoga, my wife went over to the supermarket on her way home and picked up three beautiful steamed lobsters, sweet and succulent. I boiled potatoes and fixed them. My daughter made salads and I made dressing. My daughter made seafood appetisers, ready for the homecoming, and we all had a wonderful seafood Valentine’s Day feast!

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Dinner for Six

I had agreed reluctantly to get dinner for the six people (including me) for the committee meeting at 5:00 p.m. I wanted to have the meeting in a restaurant, and it seemed such a nice idea to go and order, let someone else prepare the food and sit and discuss. This seemed to be the easy answer but no, not the way we wanted to do it, so I was stuck. “It’s just a simple pizza dinner” I was assured.

Here’s how the simple pizza went.

The first person contacting me was a vegetarian and wanted to remind me so I’d get the right kind of pizza.
The second person to let me know was a vegan, and wanted to let me know so I’d be able to get the right kind of pizza.
This morning we counted and we confirmed six although one wasn’t going to eat (probably).

I decided we needed salad.
I went to the bulk food market to get candy for my later Board meeting scheduled for 7:30 p.m.

I went to the supermarket and bought a salad and two kinds of dressing, one with cheese and one for a vegan.

I went to the Dollar Store to buy plastic plates for pizza and salad, the more solid kind, as well as bowls in case someone wanted salad bowls and we needed some for the candy as my old bowls had been thrown out sometime ago.
I looked around the building and found cups and forks as well as napkins for then dinner.

When I returned I went on line to order the pizza, but found it too hard to make the web site understand my dilemma. I called Pizza Pizza in order to explain my predicament and had the pizzas delivered at 5:30 p.m. which was just right.
I spent $9 at the Dollar Store for the plates and bowls and $52 on pizza. I spent an additional $12 on salad and dressings. It was fine, but at the end of the meeting we decided to do this again next month, so I demanded a brown bag dinner.

All I wanted to do was meet at a restaurant and make it all simple.

Monday, February 13, 2012

Shrimp Cocktail

Wikipedia says that Prawn cocktail is a seafood dish consisting of "shelled prawns in mayonnaise and tomato dressing, served in a glass". It was the most popular hors d'Ĺ“uvre in Great Britain from the 1960s to the late 1980s.

I think of it as Shrimp Cocktail, the ultimate hors d'Ĺ“uvre from the 50’s through the 80’s in “regular” (non-ethnic) restaurants. It was always a thrill for me to get large, sweet shrimp in fancy containers with tangy horseradish/catsup type of sauce. I knew we could make it at home but we seem to never do that.

It has all but disappeared from most menus as a sign of the changing times. And when it is there, I tend not to order as I think, I can do that. And, of course, I don’t.

Last night before dinner, a special dinner from the mid-century menu as well, Steak Diane, we had Shrimp Cocktail.

Put together beautifully by my wife with sweet, succulent shrimp, wonderful tangy homemade seafood sauce and small, tender romaine leaves and a special cracker, a sort of olive oil based Pita Chip and a lemon slice! This was heaven!

The Steak Diane usually was made at the table in days gone by and flamed. We did flame it and ran around trying to figure how to stop the fire! (It had a pizza pan finish, as the pizza pan was dropped on the flaming pot to extinguish the fire. The steaks were fantastic, of course.

Sunday, February 12, 2012

The Persistent Man

My old buddy thought of himself as a real “lady killer” in the old days, and tried his “smooth lines” on women he casually met every now and then. I know it worked, and although one may have thought it a bit sad, he was persistent about it. And, as a married man, he was discreet.

We were off at a conference somewhere, I believe it was Philadelphia, and it was the mid 80’s. My friend was casually wandering down the hallway leading to his room, when the elevator opened and a beautiful, well-dressed woman appeared and was looking around. Not one to leave a damsel in distress, he went over to her and offered to help. She seemed a bit confused but they struck up a conversation, and they walked down the halls toward, he knew, his room.

She noted to him that the hotel seemed to be full of artists and professor types. He explained the reason for the meeting and she seemed real interested in his story. They continued down the hallway and finally arrived at his room. Mr. Smooth was about take his move when she said, “There are all these artists and teachers here today and none of them seem to want to f**k!”

It was at that point that he realized he was smooth talking a “professional”.

I have no idea how was able to extricate himself from the situation but clearly, paying for it was not an option for him!




Wednesday, February 8, 2012

The Watch Dilemma...a moment in time




To enable volume discounts on this site, use coupon code: BULKRATE during checkout. You will see a discount applied at the bottom of the shopping cart. Competitive pricing is available. CI wrote once about the $10 watch with the $11 band. That band is now done in but so far I have refused to buy another.

This situation however, was as funny, but as sad. I did have some choices of course, but chose not to use them and went ahead with the expensive option.

Here’s the watch. It’s great, and I wear it often. It’s huge and was $4.80 delivered.

It takes about two weeks plus to get here from somewhere deep in China, sent through a tractable courier service. All this for $4.80! It comes from Deal Extreme, and I have purchased more than 8 or so watches from them. They have a vast warehouse of styles.

I have had this one for more than a year and finally it needed a battery and there was the dilemma! A new battery installed was $10. It was cheaper to order two more for less money! I was not in a hurry, but it seemed stupid to toss away a nice watch that wasn’t broken and just needed a new battery.

I just replaced the battery and put $10 into the Canadian economy rather than $4.80 into the Chinese economy.


Monday, February 6, 2012

Icewine Martini for Two

Icewine Martini (from the LCBO magazine)

Today Canada is one of the top producers in the world of premium Icewine, but it was Germany that first invented it in the late 1700s. Subtly sweet and seductive, this drink features Icewine, and is mixed with vodka and club soda.

No one can control Mother Nature. German winemakers experienced her wrath first hand, when frost came early, leaving their grapes frozen and ruined, or so they thought. One clever soul decided to pick some of the frozen grapes, and realized their sweetness. Soon the grapes were pressed and the first Icewine was made.

Almost a century later in Ontario, Karl Kaiser, an Australian-born chemist, and Donald Ziraldo, a young Italian-Canadian, joined forces to open Inniskillin Winery. In 1984, this dynamic duo made their first successful Inniskillin Icewine. In time, the Niagara regions Icewine Festival began, and now glamorous galas and winery tastings are hosted each year. It is believed this is where The Icewine Martini made by Inniskillin was first introduced and became an instant classic.

Ingredients

1 oz Icewine
1 1/2 oz Premium Vodka
Splash of club soda
Frozen grape

I had gotten my wife a small bottle (a miniature) of Icewine as a stocking stuffer at Christmas. When we saw this recipe we realized that we now had something good to do with the Icewine.

Two of them before dinner and the Super Bowl was perfect!

Friday, February 3, 2012

My Boardwalk Empire

Another one I think I wrote but can’t find now that I try. So, OK, it’s my Boardwalk Empire revisited.

In the late 50’s a bunch of us had gone to Atlantic City for a week’s vacation. Vacation from what?

Who knew? We were on summer break from high school and Atlantic City seemed like a great idea.

I remember we had gone to dinner at some restaurant and it was expensive. We wanted to get extra drinks (lemonade or something) but they were lots of money so we didn’t get seconds.
We had gone into the games room of a nearby, high end hotel (the now defunct Traymore Hotel) and it was full of other teen agers playing pin ball machines etc. I was walking by the change machine which was being “played” by two local residents, when they managed to break into the machine and were busily scooping out quarters from the money slot.

My brain focused on the activity and without breaking stride I walked by and quickly removed the coin basket in the bottom of the machine as they struggled with the coin chute. I put it in my pocket and calling my “henchmen” to my side I walked as fast as possible through the crowd, past a rushing security guard aiming for the trouble makers, and exited out of the hotel door with my friends.

Off we went to the aforementioned restaurant and had a second food event, with two lemonades for all! Our ill-gotten gains squandered on food and drink. The restaurant didn’t mind being paid off in quarters, so we all had a wonderful time.
This has not led to a life of crime, albeit this is some sort of confession.


Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Exotic Eating at Costco

I left work early today and went off for a visit to Costco. Now normally, I don’t visit Costco often, but my wife had said the next time I go, I should get some maple syrup which was always a good buy there. Unfortunately, it has gone up from about $10 a bottle to $12.59, but I thought it was a nice day to shop and I took the opportunity to look around Costco for “stuff”.

I traveled through the TV’s and computers as always, and loved it all. However, it was the exotic food tasting that got to me today. I was just there to stroll, so when I ran into a food tasting, I tried it. I only went to three, but it has changed so much from the earliest “Joe Lunch bucket” Costco favorites to an exotic menu worthy of the Food Channel.

In a few minutes I had Chicken Kabob with Tzatziki, a hot shrimp in Thai Chili Sauce and a smoked oyster on a wheat cracker. This was just on a normal Wednesday afternoon at about 4p.m.

I was overwhelmed! This is not what I was prepared for. My congratulations to them all! I missed the lady handing out an exotic breakfast cereal with blueberries and almonds, although I bought a box anyway as it looked good, and I also got my syrup.

I think I’ll be back next week to see if I can do the free lunchtime buffet! If not, there is always their huge hot dog and fries for about $2.50 and that’s with a large soft drink! OK, not too exotic but what a deal!