"Deathbed Promise"

I try not to break death bed promises and usually succeed. However, I don’t make too many of them, in fact I can only think of two.

The first, from my mother, was not exactly a death bed, but she knew the end was near (probably six months to a year away) and she sat with me and made me promise to distribute her goods in a manner she directed. I did that when she died and never forgot a bit of it. It was a solemn oath.

The next one, however, probably doesn’t count as the guy didn’t know he was dying, he just happened to after getting me to promise some stuff I wouldn’t have promised if I’d have known he was going to die.

Many years ago we’d hired a highly recommended consultant. He was an expert in developing planning initiatives for not-for-profit organizations. We needed some consultative advice, and he looked like the guy to fill the bill.

He was with us for most of a week. He spent time interviewing students, faculty, staff and trustees. He was developing a suggested plan, as well as an overview of the institution as it stood.

Late on Thursday he came to see me and asked if we could go to a more private location then my office, as what we were going to talk about was highly confidential.

We went down to the basement, and sat in an empty classroom to discuss his concerns.

While he had a few things about me he wished to discuss, they were considered insignificant within his concerns and will not be brought forth by me now. His real concern was that it was believed that my boss was sleeping with several women on the staff, and was drinking entirely too much. He assured me that most people, regardless of their positions, knew these revelations. While I argued that the information was, in fact, not true, the perception was the active reality. There was enough truth floating around to make it possible, and it would be a no win situation regardless.

Once again I bring up the notion of the value of a non-fraternization policy. Having such would have given the institution more of a leg to stand on and would have eliminated much of the angst left on my shoulders.

He would not include any of these revelations (allegations) within the text of his report, but was entrusting me with the information in hopes that I could help to alleviate the responsibility he had been given. In other words, I should fix it, he was too uncomfortable. It was my duty to discuss this with my boss in order to change his behaviour (like that was happening!).

Our consultant also owned a business; it was a hotel in Virginia, in a beautiful, wooded location with a fine restaurant attached. He wanted to go back to Washington, his home, because he planned to visit his hotel soon. So on Friday afternoon, we all said goodbye to him, told him we’d await his report. We winked at each other, I said I’d take care of everything, and he left.

On Tuesday morning I received a call that our consultant had been killed in a single car accident early Sunday morning, having driven into the night. He came home Friday night, worked on Saturday and instead of leaving on Sunday morning for Virginia he decided to go when he finished his paperwork on Saturday night.

An hour later, I received his report in the mail.

Did I do what I promised this guy on his unknowing deathbed? Well...not exactly.
The pressure was off me because I was the only person who knew what everyone knew.

I sort of brought it up but not with the promised vigour, and it all made not a bit of difference in the end.

The truth itself was mostly fiction. But, perception was everything.

"Deathbed Promise" a painting by Edvard Munch