Saturday, December 26, 2009

Sleep Depravation

image borrowed from The Simpsons
My sleeping patterns are really bad, and I haven’t slept through the night for many years. While this is supposed to be a bad thing, it has given me lots of TV time, and I often live in a twilight world.

I usually fall asleep way too early and wake up around ten. Then I go to sleep at about eleven or eleven thirty and sleep until one or two. I then wake, go downstairs an have a bowl of cereal and some grapes. This seems to do the trick and I usually fall asleep watching something on the TV and wake up between four and five and return to bed. I “wake up” at around six. This is my “normal” sleeping pattern.

I sought drugs to solve the problem, and what I was given does dope me up pretty good, and causes me to hold on top the stair rail very carefully when I descend into the family room. I groggily get the cereal, but it isn’t a great solution. I still wake up every one and a half to two hours. The next drug I received works about the same with less after effects. However, none of them shut me down.

Am I complaining, I guess so? I have gotten to see a lot more movies than before, and, I’ve seen lots of ghost shows like Paranormal State, Extreme Paranormal, Ghost Hunter and Celebrity Ghost Stories. I think these have all replaced wrestling as the new sport of insane folks. “Give ‘em something to believe in”.

Would I like to sleep the whole night, sure? It’s just become a way of life.
In Stephen King’s “Insomnia”, Widower Ralph Roberts has been having trouble sleeping. Each night he awakens a little earlier until he's barely sleeping at all. During his late night vigils and walks, he observes some strange things going on in Derry, Maine. He sees colored ribbons streaming from people's heads. He witnesses two strange little men wandering the city under cover of night. He begins to suspect that these visions are something more than hallucinations brought about by sleep deprivation. Ralph and his friend, Widow Lois Chasse, become enmeshed in events of cosmic significance.
Would that I had anything as exciting as this to look forward to? My cosmic intuition is no where near heightened by my lack of sleep. The only changes occurring are that I tend to fall asleep sitting on toilets!

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