I’m at a dinner party last night with lots of new and old friends,
and a Christmas Party story comes up from long ago. This is not my story and I
can’t reveal the celebrants for obvious reasons, but it may be the best
Christmas Party story I’ve ever heard.
I’ve been to lots of company parties in my life, both at the
office and at caterer’s places, and once in a while at someone’s home. We’ve
done it often ourselves. This story was from at their house.
I was at a party once when the last person left at 6
a.m. and they found him in the afternoon asleep in the front bushes, never
getting beyond the front stairs. I remember once leaving a Christmas party
early chasing after a young lady who had left right before me, as I wanted in
my polluted brain, to have her come home with me. I got in my car and drove off
at a million miles an hour (or so) for many miles trying to determine where she
had gone. It was night, I was way too far gone to drive, and ended up missing
the highway entrance, going up a side hill and doing a 180 on to the street. I
was not hurt, the car was not hurt and I realized just how stupid I had been. I
think I went home at that point, very carefully. But, all that was a long time
ago.
This story (not mine I’m sorry to say) was about a home
Christmas Party, with everyone quite looped that evening, many years ago, and
the host and hostess (my friends) standing at the door saying good-bye to all
their guests. A young lady who worked with our host in the office was leaving,
and the hostess (his wife) said, “May Santa bring you all the Christmas gifts
you desire”. The object of this story smiled, and she said, “Probably won’t get
me everything I want, because I want to get fuc*ed by your husband!”
I guess the only thing that would have made it worse was if
she had added “again!”
awkkkkkkwarrrrrd!!!
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