Poutine

Poutine is real Canadian food. Seldom do I have any, and when we do it’s usually the home made  low fat version if such a thing is possible.

Wikipedia says: Poutine is a fast food dish that originated in Quebec and can now be found across Canada, and is also found in some places in the northern United States. It is sold by national and international fast food chains, in small "greasy spoon" type diners (commonly known as "cantines" or "casse-croûtes" in Quebec) and pubs, as well as by roadside chip wagons (commonly known as "cabanes à patates", literally meaning "potato shacks"). International chains like McDonald's, A&W, KFC, and Burger King also sell mass-produced poutine in Canada. Poutine may also contain other ingredients such as beef, pulled pork or lamb. Typically, the dish may also include additional ingredients such as lobster meat, shrimp, rabbit confit, caviar, and truffles.

We spent the weekend in Ottawa because of a Van Gogh show at the National Gallery of Art, and we had poutine on our mind. Down the street from our hotel was one of the poutine chains, “Smoke’s Poutinerie”. This also exists in Hamilton but we have never gone there. The menu was wonderful and all four of us involved on this mission decided to have lunch there.

I photographed our lunches, described by one of the other patrons waiting for their lunch as a “heart attack in a box”! We had three different dishes for the four of us as the ladies each had the vegetarian version.

Veggie Deluxe Poutine

+ Sautéed Mushrooms
+ Caramelized Onions
+ Baby Green Peas

Pulled Pork Poutine

Nacho Grande Poutine

+ Homemade Chili
+ Tomato Salsa
+ Guacamole
+ Sour Cream + Jalapeño Peppers

Praise

My son’s band played a very large gig last weekend. All the band members who have families probably refer to the band as their son’s band, so I must say it’s the Fabulous Dialtones from Washington DC and my son is a member. He plays lead guitar (as do several others it seems) and he sings as well (as do several others). When I saw them it was great!

Very often his kids (my grandchildren) go with him to the larger, outdoor events, and last week his oldest son, at 14, went with his father.

Usually, he finds the music not up to his taste, and perhaps geezer rock, as they are primarily a cover band doing 60’s, 70’s and 80’s music.

There were thousands of people in the audience, and my grandson watched. After it was over he excitedly said to his father, “You blew the roof off of the F’ing building!!!” This was the height of praise for a 14 year old to his father.

We have reached a new high (and a new low at the same time!)

A Christmas Tale

I’m at a dinner party last night with lots of new and old friends, and a Christmas Party story comes up from long ago. This is not my story and I can’t reveal the celebrants for obvious reasons, but it may be the best Christmas Party story I’ve ever heard.

I’ve been to lots of company parties in my life, both at the office and at caterer’s places, and once in a while at someone’s home. We’ve done it often ourselves. This story was from at their house.

I was at a party once when the last person left at 6 a.m. and they found him in the afternoon asleep in the front bushes, never getting beyond the front stairs. I remember once leaving a Christmas party early chasing after a young lady who had left right before me, as I wanted in my polluted brain, to have her come home with me. I got in my car and drove off at a million miles an hour (or so) for many miles trying to determine where she had gone. It was night, I was way too far gone to drive, and ended up missing the highway entrance, going up a side hill and doing a 180 on to the street. I was not hurt, the car was not hurt and I realized just how stupid I had been. I think I went home at that point, very carefully. But, all that was a long time ago.

This story (not mine I’m sorry to say) was about a home Christmas Party, with everyone quite looped that evening, many years ago, and the host and hostess (my friends) standing at the door saying good-bye to all their guests. A young lady who worked with our host in the office was leaving, and the hostess (his wife) said, “May Santa bring you all the Christmas gifts you desire”. The object of this story smiled, and she said, “Probably won’t get me everything I want, because I want to get fuc*ed by your husband!”

I guess the only thing that would have made it worse was if she had added “again!”

Technology is sumpin’, isn’t it?

I called my wife on the cell phone but she was otherwise engaged and I got her voice mail. I decided not to send a message, and the phone went dark. When I got it back to colour, I couldn’t find the shut off button for the phone call any longer. Even though it’s been a while, my phone usage is limited, and I didn’t know what to do. The call had disappeared for all intents and purposes, so I forgot it and continued on down the road. I put on my MP3 player, and returned to my book, a murder mystery with two actors playing all the roles. I continued on to lunch.

When my wife realized someone had called, she called in for her message and found a man screaming from my number, followed closely by a woman screaming. She had no idea why I was so angry and why there was a woman with me, also so angry.

She called later on to see what was wrong and I was dumbfounded by her questions. I had no idea my cell phone continued to pick up and broadcast my MP3 production to her cell phone. She had several minutes of the novel being recorded by her phone.

First of all, the whole transaction was probably illegal as we surely broke all sorts of international laws transmitting copy written material across the airwaves and rerecording it as well. Plus, she was concerned that I was so angry that I would be screaming at her.

Technology is sumpin’, isn’t it?

Bikini

My dear friend, who has to remain nameless at this point, developed a problem. She decided to go out front on her lawn and do some gardening. She chose, as it was 90 degrees Fahrenheit outside, to wear a bikini. OK, this may be a bit much (or not enough) but this lovely lady is no young child, she is a middle aged woman who looks great and is willing to show herself in a bikini. I’m sorry I was not there to witness this display, I only have my fantasy.

However, while she was working on her garden, her neighbour across the street, recently “ born again” and loving it, came over to ask her to put on more clothes, as her husband was coming home soon and who knows what this vision would do to his libido!

Sadly, she explained that she would be through in a few minutes and was going in anyway.

Later, she thought of comebacks, but all too late. I suggested she put on a turtleneck and take off her bottom and continue to garden, but that’s just me! Her husband had some more immoral words to send to the neighbour.

It would have made my day to see this lovely woman just working it out in the garden…..

My First Blog Story from February 24, 2009

The $300 Night Light

We have an over the range microwave oven, which has a fan and a light in the bottom of it. This is a Jenn-Air which was about $600, and is about 3 or 4 years old. (OK, I paid $400 and it was an out-of-date model!)

I replaced a bulb in the bottom portion, used to light the range below it and it becomes a night light. I twisted the bulb the wrong way because it’s in a backwards position and it came apart in my hand. This caused a big bang, and a flash and no more light working.

I checked around and there was no separate fuse. I used a meter and there was no electricity. I gave up.

Sandy wanted it fixed, and we found a guy who was willing to come out and look, as most appliance repair places will not bother with microwaves.

The visit, with tax, was $77. I fried the board, and to replace it will be $179 plus $30 labor. Sandy wants her light. The oven is still good and a new one (of the same brand and size) is $600.

I have now ordered the $300 night light!

June 2012- It's Still Working (Thank God!!!)

Weed Kill

My wife said now that they don’t sell Roundup in Canada any more, go to the hardware store and see if there’s a safe weed killer for the patio stones. I thought this was a good idea and took myself to Home Hardware to see what was now available.

I said to the old guy (like I’m not one!), “now that they don’t sell Roundup in Canada any more is there a safe weed killer to use for weeds between the patio stones”?

Roundup is the brand name of a systemic, broad-spectrum herbicide produced by the Monsanto, and contains the active ingredient glyphosate. Glyphosate is the most widely used herbicide in the USA, and Roundup has been the number one selling herbicide worldwide since at least 1980

He laughed, and he told me that we do have Roundup here in Canada again, and they paid some smart guys in Ottawa lots of money to make up new rules. “It is right here,” he pointed to a cabinet with open wire mesh doors and a big lock on it. “If you want it I can open the door for you”.

“Which size do you want?” he said. I looked at them and chose the medium size and he said, ”I am not allowed to touch it and hand it to you, but you may select it yourself from the shelf”.

I laughed as did he and I took out the container. He locked the cabinet and I proceeded to the front. The clerk behind the register rang it up, and she said, “They pay some guy in Ottawa $25 an hour to write this stuff!” and she handed me a very long printed sales slip warning me that I had just purchased a controlled substance and warning me what I could do and not do with it, in two official languages.

What in the hell is wrong with these people? I cannot believe, that just like cigarettes, we now have controlled Roundup. Either make it illegal or not, but to bring it back in limbo is weird!

My daughter, when she heard this story, was horrified that I bought Roundup and screamed about Monsanto and Agent Orange etc. and it was the 60’s all over again. Given she wasn’t born until 1994, it was an unexpected reaction. She is my tree hugger darlin’

The Filter In My Head - written in early June 2009

Yesterday, after dropping my youngest daughter off at my school so she could work, and buying a piece of ceramics from the sale we were having in the school’s front yard, I attacked my “to do” list. The first stop was to go to the LCBO (Liquor Control Board of Ontario) Store, the liquor store, and get four bottles of Fuzion, this most popular cheap new wine, a favorite on the local horizon. Even with all that activity I arrived a few minutes prior to their ten o’clock opening (on Saturday).


I had a few minutes to kill and I walked around the shopping center, went to the bank and finally, still not quite ten o’clock, I returned.


I saw a man approaching from my right, and I assumed we’d be in line for a minute or two. I thought I’d say something as we were both standing in line in front of a liquor store, waiting for it to open.


I figured I’d open with, “the first sign of alcoholism is finding yourself standing in front of a liquor store waiting for it to open!”, and I’d see where it went from there.


When we reached the front, before I opened my mouth, I looked at the man. He was skinny (I know compared to me most people are skinny), needed a shave, his fly was partially open and his hand was shaking as he lit his cigarette.


I rethought my opening move, and he said, “They always get an extra minute or two. My watch says they’re late”.


I smiled, looked at my watch, told him that they still had a few minutes, and went back to window shopping until they opened.


Sometimes, although not often, the filter in my head still works!

Grass

It took a lot of conversation before we decided to do plastic grass on the renovated building. We discussed, argued and planned, but even with the advanced costs, it was a good deal as we didn’t have to pay for mowing and we always had a green lawn and even more important, in the summer the kids here in our camps had a flat, clean place to play during breaks. No dirt walked in the building, no mud during and after rains and a quickly dried surface available when the sun was out.

It’s controversial of course, and our “tree hugging” friends  don’t like it and are sure we have somehow ruined the world. We have been “written up” in Natural Landscape magazine and have been featured in a TV news piece about artificial turf.

So, after much committee discussion, a back hoe, black plastic, 18" of gravel and a ton of shredded rubber, what do we get, WEEDS!

OK, one is against the wall, I can understand that a bit more, but the other is a few inches out. It may be a tree growing in the plastic with water, a hydroponic special.