Abandonment Issues

My oldest daughter, when she was a kid, went to art classes at North Mount Pleasant Art Centre in Calgary. The classes were an hour or so long, and she took a number of them over the years. However, as good as it was, she had always been afraid that I would leave her (abandonment issues) and she refused to let me leave.

All I ever wanted to do was go out and get a coffee and read the paper as I waited. This did happen after a few years and lots of assurance that I would never leave her. We had never left her alone anywhere and never did have an idea how this malady had occurred.

She did not, thank God, need me to sit in the classroom and watch (I would have refused as would the teacher, I hope) but she needed me to be within sight if needed.

Outside of the large first floor classroom was a large, vinyl or leather like sofa, and if I sat there, when she felt abandoned, she could peek out of the door to make sure I was there. I did that and over time the problem faded and I was allowed to go and get coffee from a local coffee shop.

I have known of this syndrome happening with adults and it seems to be serious mental illness. There was a man when I was a kid, who demanded his wife sit in her car outside of his office building all day, so he was able to work and able to see her whenever he felt abandoned. There are probably many cases; however, this behaviour was extinguished quickly, after a year or two.

I clearly remember the first experience when I put her in the children’s section of the library, told her I was going to go over to the adult books, about 12 feet away, and after a few minutes she started to scream, causing a huge glut of running librarians to come forth to her rescue. Her father was lost. I was standing 12 feet away and watching!

With all this build up, the result of this story is that she lives in Montreal, is happy not to come home, and would rather not go anywhere with her father most of the time.

Now I have abandonment issues!