Shy Guy

When I was a kid I was shy.

For those of you who know me now that seems a stretch, but as a kid, up until eight or nine I was very shy. My mother (I know I’ve told this one before but maybe you’ve never heard it) put me in singing lessons. My kids laugh at this because they are sure I’m tone deaf, but her reasoning was not to make me a singer, but to make me less shy. In her later days, she always said perhaps it was a bit of overkill, and she’d wished I was a bit shyer.

The singing lessons with Ethel Evantoff were a marvelous cultural experience. She was a great teacher who continued working at singing and teaching into her nineties. We sang for groups who would put up with us, a bunch of Jewish, over privileged singing kids. Old age homes and hospitals were ripe for the picking.

I remember as I went to my new job in the department store, the first job I had where I worked with the public, the feelings I had that first day. I can remember as clear as if it were yesterday, the courage I had to summon up to go over to that first customer I saw and say, “May I help you?” Luckily, I never looked back.

I see it in my youngest daughter. She works with the public in many different capacities, is always out front in her jobs, but I see the shyness lurking in her. I hear it in her voice and I recognize it because it’s mine.

I don’t know if it goes away or if we just mask it. Often we’re told actors are very shy people. A well known Canadian interviewer,Elwy Yost, television host notable for hosting CBC's weekday Passport to Adventure series, and TVOntario's weekday Magic Shadows and Saturday Night at the Movies from 1974 to 1999 told me the story of interviewing Henry Fonda. He said he walked into the studio and saw a man sitting in a chair, still and silent. He walked over and stood waiting. A light turned on, and Henry Fonda emerged from the depths of this still figure. Princess Lee Radziwill told the story of walking in Hyannis Port with Marilyn Monroe and no one recognised Marilyn. She asked her why not, and Marilyn stood still for a minute, turned around and became Marilyn Monroe. Within a minute people came from all over to stare and ask for autographs.

It’s about very shy people overcoming their own fears, Maybe it’s forcing yourself to become what you should be.