The Sandwich

It was lunch time and I was in my car, and was out shopping. I had come from the house and had taken a cold diet coke with me and thought I ought to get a sandwich or a hot dog or a piece of pizza. These were my major considerations.

I was at the bank and next door was Sobeys Supermarket, the new one with a large “gourmet food section”. I could go to Costco for a cheap hot dog but it meant parking again and getting through Costco at noon is a bit difficult most days.

Into Sobeys I went, and looking over a huge lunch counter of gourmet carry out I realized they had fresh sandwiches to go. They had a few specials printed on cards, and one was a roast beef and provolone and another was a Montréal smoked meat sandwich. For my American friends, Montreal smoked meat is the Canadian equivalent of corned beef. It’s just as popular, but instead of being a corned brisket, it’s a pastrami kind of thing and it’s great, especially if it’s fresh and hot! It’s a kosher-style deli meat product made by salting and curing beef brisket with spices. The brisket is allowed to absorb the flavors over a week, and is then hot smoked to cook through, and finally steamed to completion.

I stood at the beautiful new counter, full of food, and there were no customers. There were also no employees. It was 12:20p.m., on a weekday! As I looked around I saw one woman in a white uniform with gloves in her hands and said, “I’d like to order a Montréal smoked meat sandwich please”. It was if I’d said something very bad. She stared at me and kind of ran away. 

There was a big sign over my head that said: Special, Montreal smoked meat sandwich $4.99. This was a great price.

Another woman came out, with a white uniform on and gloves on her hands and looked at me and I said, “I’d like to order a Montréal smoked meat sandwich please”. She looked at me startled, turned around quickly, and ran into the same place the first woman ran. A minute later a young guy dressed like a chef came out with the other two women sneaking in behind him, and another woman way in the back (they must have employees but they hide) and he had a hat on which seemed to give him secret powers so he could talk.

I said, “I’d like to order a Montréal smoked meat sandwich please”. He said (HE SPOKE!!!) “We no longer carry that product here but you can go around to the meat department and they can get it for you” and he said this very quickly as he wanted to run away. I laughed and changed the order to a roast beef and provolone and that made everyone easier and they all came out of the rabbit hole.

I was asked if I’d like it toasted which I did, and they did. However, they had no steamer or anything so the roll was great and toasted but the insides, roast beef, provolone and fresh veggies including mushrooms was all cold as a refrigerator. The man with a hat also told me they can’t change the sign so it will continue to say Montreal smoked meat.

A piece of tape or a marker would end the sign I guess, but a multi-billion dollar corporation wouldn’t have the means to figure this out or pay for a new sign.

I think they will not be in the “gourmet carry out business much longer!”