Arthur...Don't Fall

The last time I was in physio they said, “Arthur, don’t fall!” This was good advice and a rule I try and live by. Since my fall last May down the stairs in the middle of the night, I have been very good. I never walk in the snow and ice any more due to way too many “accidents”. I am very careful in coming down any stairs, and choose to be slow anywhere I am able, just to be sure.

Last night I needed to remove our kitchen smoke detector, and disable it, as we were going to use our broiler and we know the consequences of such an act. We have never used the broiler in this stove in the two years we’ve owned it, and this was a good night to try it as it was way too cold for barbequing outside.

Rather than get out the portable steps we have for that purpose, I found the one Rubbermaid step and used it to take down the alarm. As we ascended to stairs late in the evening I realized I had forgotten to put it back, and fearing a middle of the night disaster, I got out the step again to put the alarm back.

My wife had gone up before me, and there was only Max our dog as a silent witness. I put the stair in place, put the battery back in the holder, and started to go up the stair.

I imagine that the stair must have been on two different surfaces, the tile floor and the wood floor simultaneously, as I rose up a stair leg sort of folded under itself and I came down, from thank God not much of a height. As I tumbled down it all seemed to be in slow motion and I was aware of what was happening. I thought out how I would land, and hit on my butt cheek, my knee and my ankle and not on my head! It hurt but I rolled, and ended up on the floor with my legs over the two small stairs to our lower level family room and did no damage to me, beyond my pride.

My wife upstairs said it sounded like a bomb hit, and she immediately assumed I was down with a stroke! When she came down I was laughing in pain, but laughing just the same and trying to figure out how and if I could get up.

The words of the Physio technician came back to me loudly and clearly, “Arthur, don’t fall!”

 

When left on my own to cook recently, I was able to strike out for cooking freedom! My wife was off to do something and left me a recipe from the Artist’s Palate Cookbook as well as a pile of ingredients, and told me to make the Sandro Chia Vegetarian Lasagne.

I was in heaven! I seldom get the opportunity to cook, and almost never left to my own devices. She freed me from the bonds of the recipe, and told me to loosely follow it (no meat could be added) but to enjoy myself and do a good job.

She left me a counter full of the needed ingredients, and I had my kitchen full of other things I could add. I imagine in the end the only additive I used was red wine and some spices, not included in the original recipe, and also included some in me as well (the wine not the spices). The tomatoes we used were a bit different than suggested, and I added an additional can of tomato paste.

The only part of this that got very interesting beyond it being fabulous, was it called for using a leek. I knew what a leek was and had eaten leeks, I realized I’d never cooked one or even saw one cooked. Do I use the green part? If so, how do I use it? I was in the middle of cooking, as I hadn’t carefully read the recipe first, when it said to add a leek to the vegetable mixture cooking on the stove. 

As a 21st century guy, I immediately sprang into action. I quickly got out my tablet and punched in “cooking leeks” and was able to watch the video on how to clean and cook leeks while I cooked! I was able to clean it and get rid of the hard green stuff and make a great lasagne.

The basic book recipe was (including a few additions):

¼ cup olive oil

1 medium onion chopped, 

2 cloves garlic, minced

2- 28 oz. cans crushed tomatoes

1 small can tomato paste

2 bouillon cubes (vegetarian or beef if you’re sneaky)

½ cup red wine

Salt and pepper as needed

1 large red or green pepper, sliced (I used orange, as that was what we had)

 1 leek, halved and sliced

1 large carrot grated

1 package (2 cups) sliced mushrooms

1 small zucchini, sliced

1 box no boil lasagne sheets

1 lb. grated mozzarella cheese

¾ cup grated Parmesan cheese

1 cup basil leaves (added at the end, and I forgot them completely)

1 TBS oregano

½ TBS thyme

½ ts dried hot pepper

Preheat oven to 350. In a large saucepan over medium heat sauté the onions, and garlic in olive oil until soft. Add wine, tomatoes, ½ the spices and bouillon cubes. Simmer for about 30 minutes. Stir in basil and salt and pepper. I used a hand blender at this point to amalgamate the sauce a bit, leaving it less chunky.

In a large skillet, use remaining olive oil on medium heat and cook pepper and leeks until soft, about 6 minutes. Add mushrooms, zucchini and carrot and cook until soft, about another 5 minutes. Season with the remaining spices plus salt and pepper.

Lightly oil a 9”x13” baking pan. Spread ½ cup of the sauce on the bottom and lay 4 lasagne sheets over it. Sprinkle 1/3 of the vegetable mixture, followed by about a cup of sauce. Top with ¼ cup of the mozzarella and a TBS of the Parmesan. Repeat, ending the top layer with remaining sauce and cheese.

Lightly cover with foil and bake for 40 minutes.

This was wonderful, and even better the second day!

A Reprint from October 8, 2009 One of the Best Christmas Stories I Have

In the mid-50's, my friend Ted worked at the mall, and had access to the Santa Suit right after the mall closed on Christmas Eve. It was sweaty and stale, but he could get it and return it a day or two later to the rightful owner. He was so excited!

I would drive his car as it was a bit difficult for him to drive with pillows stuffed in his suit, and besides, he didn’t want to go out alone.

We would go to the gas station near the mall, a favorite place for us, and the owner would get us to go to his house to surprise his kids. We had to be at a Christmas Eve party about 11:00p.m. to scare the kids there, but we were free from about 6:00p.m., when the mall closed on Christmas Eve, until then.

Our desire was to get free booze and make kids happy (sort of).

We started out at the gas station owner’s house, and would drink with the guys in the basement while the ladies cooked and fussed upstairs. This was the 50’s, and this was a blue collar neighborhood, and we were two teen aged Jewish boys out being Santa and his helper!

When we left the house, the fun began. We would walk slowly, or drive slowly, if no one was out to see us, until someone invited us in. This was a kinder, gentler time and no one suspected that we were criminals, or even suspected two Jewish boys with ulterior motives, it was Christmas, and we had Santa!

From house to house we went and drank and jollied all the way! (We may have jingled too!)

By 11:00, we would make our way to our friend’s house, quite lit up, and woke the kids (her brother and sister) and had a great time! Everyone was drinking and we were happy as clams! The kids were generally scared by being woken up by the drunken Santa with a cheesy Irish accent, wishing them the happiest of holidays!

Sometimes I’d have to pull over, so Santa could get out of the car and hurl.

I miss those happy times!

This was Christmas, 2009 for us....

From Tuesday, December 22, 2009

The Christmas Trip

My daughter came home from Montreal on Saturday, after her last exam. We scheduled a train trip, although costing much more than the bus, it would be more assured of making it home in case of inclement weather. We had decided this was well worth it for us all.

On Saturday morning after a bit of a trial by transportation, she arrived safely at the train station only to have a delay due to engine trouble. Forty-five minutes later they were off, and it looked like smooth sailing.

There was some more mechanical trouble along the way and we would be off by about an hour and a half.

We planned that she would get off in Toronto at Union Station and get a GO train to Burlington where we could easily get her and avoid, if there was any, a Saturday before Christmas rush.

The wall plugs were not working on the train so her computer battery ran down and that communication died. The Wi-Fi was out as well. Her phone battery was on its way out and there was no way to rejuvenate that either. We used text to communicate at this point so we knew what was going on.

My wife had been ill and had ear infections and decided to take a nap before we had to go. We had a few hours left before we would have to leave.

I went to use the computer, having just reinstalled it into our partially restored home office when the phone rang. My daughter was calling. The train stopped in Oshawa, Ontario and could go no more as there was a fatality on the tracks! Basically, that was the end of the line for at minimum, two hours! It may continue after that but there was no assurance.

I woke my wife up, who had been sleeping for ten minutes, and told her we were going to Oshawa, even though I had no idea where it was or how far. My other daughter did a MapQuest while I went to get gas. We took the GPS and left.

It’s about 75 miles and the traffic was about what one could expect driving around Toronto on a Christmas Saturday, just awful! However, we never stopped for a minute! We were there in an hour and a half, about 15 minutes after the train left for Union Station!

A brief stop at Burger King and we were off to home, It was another hour and a half without incident, but our planned Chanukah dinner (belated) was put off yet another day.

It was an unforgettable journey to surely make for a more well rounded Christmas.

Holiday Gift 2013

My aunt called yesterday to get my mother-in-laws telephone number so she could thank her for the lovely holiday gift she received. It was a great box of special candy, chocolate and mint as well as some other candy items. I gave her the phone number but realized right afterwards that I had it wrong and actually had given my aunt her own number for at least the last 4 digits. My mother-in-laws number is XXX- XXX-0847 while my aunt’s number is XXX-XXX-0164. I gave my aunt the 0164 suffix with my mother in laws beginning numbers.

OK, this was screwed up enough, add to that I am old and getting older and my aunt is 95! It was a mess! I called immediately and corrected it, and thought for a moment, and called my mother-in -law (who is 85) and asked her if she had sent chocolate mint candy to my aunt. She had not, so I called my aunt back for a third time to tell her the chocolate mint candy came from me, as I thought it sounded familiar!

There was only one card that she saw with the two boxes (delivered on the same day) and assumed the card covered both boxes. Not so!

Since I didn’t pay for the extra card, my printed message must be printed on the address label and she never saw it. I explained that my mother-in-law had sent Turkish paste and we had sent Chocolate Mint Bark candy (which she liked best because she told me about it thinking it came from my mother in law).

This is way too complicated a story, and my daughter complained that I spent 45 minutes shouting into the phone, given no one hears that well anymore.

The Wedding Ring Saga...

(This is a ring, but not the original as it is 500 miles south of here.)

 

Among my mother’s possessions, my son found a mysterious ring.  It is 18k white gold, thin, faintly beaded at the edges.  I did not recall my father wearing it, although that remained a possibility. I believe it was his wedding ring, probably purchased for the wedding but not worn again, as he didn’t ever wear a ring. It looked more like a ladies ring but my mother had told me once it was my fathers.

My son liked it as a remembrance of his grandparents and wore it on his right hand ring finger.  It was most notorious for being the ring that he gave his infant son to distract him while I he changed his diaper.  My grandson promptly put it in his mouth and began to choke on it, which led to an ambulance being called.  He was fine (it being, after all, a ring -- with a big hole in the middle).  It went through his digestive tract and was recovered from his diaper some days later.  It sat in dish soap for a few days and was returned to its rightful place on his finger.  It’s been there for over 15 years.

A couple of weeks ago my son was washing dishes and didn’t realize the ring had slipped off his finger.  He discovered it when he turned on the disposal and heard the crunching sound.  He was distraught to find the ring fairly mangled.  He set it on his dresser and proceeded to mourn.  It was missed it both physically and spiritually but he never told me about it.  The indentation on his finger did not wane and was a constant reminder. He also had a bit of phantom ring syndrome.

Then, the other night, among his birthday gifts from his family, he found the ring, entirely restored. His wonderful wife had taken it from his dresser and brought it to a jeweler.  They did a fantastic  job – they could not replicate the beading, which is now missing from some edges, but that is not noticeable.  It is about the most wonderful thing – up there with his Top 100 all-time song favorites and his ultramod-13 inch B&W molded plastic bubble TV as all-time great gifts. 

So the ring is once again in its rightful place – having survived twice after wallowing in mashed up food.  The mystery of its origin remains, but it sure is great to have it back where it clearly belongs.

 

The Christmas Card

After a long day, we had come to the realization that we had to soon order our family photo Christmas card if we were going ahead with our normal order, usually 100 cards. Many of them are sent by email, so we do many more than the 100.

The photo had been selected during the year, from a visit to the Chautauqua Institution. The four of us along with my mother-in-law were included. We had a discussion about how to include my mother-in-law in the card and how we could explain her easily in the signature line. I played around with Photoshop and removed her, and it looks fine so we solved that problem. I hope she didn’t want to be there.

I received an email from Costco reminding me that it was time to reorder Christmas photo gifts etc., so I saved the email until the correct moment arrived. Although we were in a hurry, we decided to get it over as quickly as possible.

I opened the link from the email and started to use the site. It didn’t recognise me and I ended up stating over as a new customer, assuming they lost my account. I uploaded the one photo, but as a full size photo it seemed to take forever. Once there, we looked through the various options and had to try out at least six or seven combinations to see what worked. Than we had to select a type face, a color and something to say to get it all correct. It took forever but finally it was right.

We ordered and the prices were just not what we expected, a bit too cheap, but they could have lowered the price this year so while I mentioned it, there was no other recognition of a problem. Finally, as we were finishing the order, they ask us which state we live in! We don’t live in any state, we live in Canada, and so this damn thing won’t work!  Almost an hour spent doing this!

I went to My Favourites and chose Costco and got Canadian Costco, not the one that sent the email, and they had my original account, all my old photos and were ready to go as soon as I re-uploaded my new photo. The cards were of course, different. We had spent so much time already that this part took very little time and it 15 minutes later and we were done. The cards will be ready sometime today, and the 100 cards are still around $35.00, a bit more than the US cards, but still very cheap. The postage is more than the cards.

I may never figure out how I get email from the US Costco (I get Canadian as well) even though I’ve never been to one, except I may have done just the same thing before….