It was only a slip of the tongue…

I hadn’t “dated” since I was 19, and here I was almost 42 and about to move away from my home and be single again after 20 years of marriage. This was moving unhappily into uncharted territory for me. I had never done anything “not appropriate” so I was going out into virgin forest.

I had great relationships with women and had lined up a “girlfriend”, or at least someone who seemed to like me and we got along just fine. We had made a few “moves” on each other already but none too serious. I had planned to leave in the beginning of March as my apartment lease was starting at that time. I was still living at home but with the agreement that I would leave ASAP.

I often spent time after work at the small bar on the first floor of the apartment house at the corner, with their incredible happy hours.  I was there and it was my 42^nd birthday and I was with friends having a good time and feeling a bit sorry for myself, as the weekend was here and would be basically alone.

We all walked to the parking lot to retrieve our cars and I was with a few people including the probable girlfriend and another woman, a bit of an “over the top” young woman. I knew she was too young and basically wrong for me but was a fantasy woman.

We all said good night, and the men shook my hand and the women kissed me and wished ma a happy birthday. The kisses were not normal, but it was my birthday. The potential girlfriend lingered her kiss a bit long which indicated her potential. The younger woman leaned up and kissed me and slipped in her tongue!

I was dumbfounded!

I could not get a clear thought! I was confused! What do I do?

It was just the slip of the tongue!

I smiled at them all and got into my car and drove home in a daze! Nothing like that had ever happened to me. Of course I’d had a normal puberty; I had kissed a woman before and already had three kids! Still, a bit of tongue from a very young woman was unsettling.

I worried all weekend. I started to call her several times but what would I say? I’d never called her before and had no excuse for the call except to ask very dumb questions. Was that kissing a mistake? Was that kiss common in our new world of the 80’s? Did I just not understand?

Worry became fear as Monday approached. As well as I remember that kiss, that’s how little I remember Monday. I don’t know what I said or what I did. Over the next few weeks the potential girlfriend disappeared and the young woman became my obsession. It changed my life.

 In hindsight, it helped me to become who I am. It made me not fall out of one relationship directly into another like some textbook case. Or maybe it helped me become a different kind of textbook case.

After all, it was only a slip on the tongue…..