Vertical is critical!

A photo from July 4, 2010 with old friends.

I know I’m getting old when:


I cry at lots of dumb, nostalgic things that would never have made me cry before. I cry watching “Field of Dreams” and “A League of Their Own” and I don’t care for baseball!

I’m sure that nothing tastes good anymore, certainly not the way things used to taste. My first pizza and my first fast food hamburger were fantastic, of course.

I miss friends and family a lot, when I haven’t missed them for years. (Editors Note: This does not include my immediate family as my oldest son just pointed out to me. My kids and grandchildren are always in my mind.)

I drive a black Cadillac.

I worry about an assortment of things I never worried about like tripping and falling (immediate) and do not worry about acid rain, recycling etc. (Long term)

I keep getting shorter, going from 6’3” to 6’ ¾”.

My feet keep growing, and it’s beginning to scare me. I am considering wearing the shoe boxes!

I have resigned myself to these facts:

I said the other day in the Father William post: All my fantasies of running off with teen queen’s on motorcycles have faded!

I will never become rich.

I will never change careers.

I will never become a movie star, or even a celebrity.

Some of my ailments will never improve.

I now believe that he who wins is he that is still breathing.

Vertical is critical!

Coffee

I drink a lot of coffee. Way too much I’ve been told, but I intersperse coffee with diet soda plus alcoholic drinks usually, in the evening. This is, as you can see, not a healthy lifestyle choice. Alas, it’s mine.


My old friend Ken Davids who I mentioned I believe in my John Updike obituary, is the founder and editor of Coffee Review, a great place on the web to learn all about coffee and its many nuances. It’s way above me but a good spot to view. Go to http://www.coffeereview.com/ and enjoy yourself.

We mostly bought coffee for the last ten years from Fortino’s grocery store where we would grind it ourselves and had a chance to mix various blends. After many years it became boring and seemed to lose its aura. The solution was a simple change to Starbucks, the easy choice. We all go to Timmy’s (Tim Horton’s) in Hamilton of course, as it’s their home. However, I always would go to Starbucks when I had a chance.

I said that the price was no object, and I forgot about the $7.99 a pound at Fortinos and went to $15-$20 a pound at Starbucks. This has lasted for two years, and one day, bitching about the cost, I ran out of coffee and it was early in the morning and I had to go somewhere and buy something and there was no Starbucks open that early around here.

I drove through Tim Horton’s and bought a 13 ounce can of their coffee. I have to admit it, I have been buying it for the last few months and it’s cheap ($6 for the can) and good.

So, to my good buddy Ken Davids, I’m sorry. I’m sticking with Tim’s for a while with an occasional Starbucks thrown in if I’m in the neighborhood.

http://www.coffeereview.com/

Bad Things Come In Threes

I was in a store today and was waited on by a woman I won’t ever forget. She said, out of the blue, “It’s one of those days. Remember how bad things come in three’s?” “Sure,” I said, “well this morning my husband’s van died, and then my Uncle got blood poisoning, and he’s ninety!. And the third is that my doctor said I better go and make funeral arrangements for myself, as there is nothing more they can do for me!”


I tried to make light of this statement, but discovered she wasn’t kidding. She has some form of rare eating processing problem, developed after forty, by both the woman and her brother. Her brother is on death watch, in hospital, at sixty-six pounds, and she will be following him.

After this we went about our business, and I was left holding the bag. She will die and I’ll never forget the conversation.

What’s the answer? Should I have delved into this strangers personal life (I guess I already had) or ignore her pleas? Why had she chosen me (actually she had chosen my wife and me)? Did she do this with everyone? Am I not accepting death as part of life? I will die and so will you but I don’t talk about this to strangers.

Immediately after telling us this story she said, “Oh, by the way, we’re redecorating the place.”

You are old Father William.....

This is not the story I expected to write today, but that one will wait for tomorrow. I know this begins to sound like a broken record because I bring it up so often, but growing old sucks! Especially when everyone knows it! If I could grow old in secret I’d be happy to, but doing it publicly is what’s bad!


Today’s big deal happened after I left my car to be worked on at the body shop after “Not Another Accident” that I posted on Thursday, August 19. (In case you haven’t read it scroll down and find it.)

I had the appointment at 1:00 p.m. figuring it would take about an hour and I could go and get lunch. I walked by Pizza Hut, Burger King and landed at Wendy’s, my usual fast food of choice. I decided to get a large chili, baked potato with sour cream and chives and a small diet coke, a usual “almost healthy” lunch for me. The woman behind the counter added it all up and said, “I’ve given you the seniors soft drink so there’s no charge and the total will be $4.96 please”. I was stunned!

1. I never knew such a thing existed.

2. Wendy’s had stopped seniors discounts.

3. I never asked for one!

I was assured by the very nice woman that they have replaced the discounts with seniors coffee and soft drinks now, and I didn’t ask for the details. Why me? What had I done? How did she know I was a senior?

I am ruined! All my fantasies of running off with teen queen’s on motorcycles have faded! I am old!

Later on today: I walked into Shoppers Drug Mart to pick up some cold medicine and it's the last Thursday of the month, their seniors discount day. I never even thought about it. The woman behind the counter gave me a 20% discount and I never asked for it! It's hard to complain about discounts but please.......


You are old, father William... by Lewis Carroll 1855


You are old, father William," the young man said,

"And your hair has become very white;

And yet you incessantly stand on your head

Do you think, at your age, it is right?



"In my youth," father William replied to his son,

"I feared it might injure the brain;

But, now that I'm perfectly sure I have none,

Why, I do it again and again."


"You are old," said the youth, "as I mentioned before,

And you have grown most uncommonly fat;

Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door

Pray what is the reason for that?"



"In my youth," said the sage, as he shook his grey locks,

"I kept all my limbs very supple

By the use of this ointment one shilling a box

Allow me to sell you a couple?"



"You are old," said the youth, "and your jaws are too weak

For anything tougher than suet;

Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak

Pray, how did you manage to do it?"



"In my youth," said his fater, "I took to the law,

And argued each case with my wife;

And the muscular strength, which it gave to my jaw,

Has lasted the rest of my life."



"You are old," said the youth, "one would hardly suppose

That your eye was as steady as ever;

Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose

What made you so awfully clever?"



"I have answered three questions, and that is enough,"

Said his father. "Don't give yourself airs!

Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff?

Be off, or I'll kick you down stairs.

War and Peace

I have been downloading audio books for many years. When alone in my car I seldom listen to music or the news, I am usually listening to the book of the week. I always travel with 10 to 15 novels at my side, ready to listen at a moments notice. These are legally downloaded from the Hamilton Public Library, not some file sharing deal. I have been able to listen to most of the books I’ve ever wanted to read, including most, if not all of Charles Dickens, most, if not all of Jane Austin plus a ton of unknown mystery books, “who done it’s” that have been available to me.
I believe most libraries provide such a service and while in the beginning they didn't provide books that would work with IPods, now they have a variety of formats which will work. I choose to use a Creative Zen, my second one, and I keep music on my IPOD. I listen when ever I’m alone in the car, and I take the player in with me when I'm eating lunch alone, and use earbuds. I always am delighted to eat and listen and it makes for better company than many lunches I’ve shared.

I have listened to James Joyce’s “Ulysses”, all 32 hours of it. After owning the book for more than 30 years, I finally got to hear it. I still read books, and usually fall asleep every night with a book in hand.

All this makes me remember my days and nights as a kid listening to the radio. Usually it was variety, but there were the stories, the mysteries, the sitcoms. I would wait almost religiously for my nightly special programs I heard on a radio in our kitchen. This was during the 40’s and early 50’s and it was radio’s hey day for me, even though radio was waning at the time. I would still listen even after we bought our first TV in 1952, because there were not yet many programs I wanted to see, but I could get lost easily in radio reality.

Now, my listening days have returned. I love road trips for just this reason. If I have to drive long distances I seldom notice because I’m listening. I can remember driving to Washington D.C. in 2009, by myself, a ten hour trip, and listening to two different books, one each way. I use an FM broadcaster plugged into a car electrical connection to broadcast through my radio.

Last night I started to download Tolstoy’s “War and Peace”. I had forgotten about it and when I ran across it I smiled. Will I ever listen to it, who knows? I’d like to think I will. It was however a daunting challenge. I started to download and realized the book takes 60 hours and 11 minutes to present, so the download time is significant, And sometimes there are internet hiccups.

I started the download pretty late and as it was going I was getting sleepy. Along about the 18th part (it downloads in pieces, not quite chapters but all about and hour plus in length) I was too tired to continue so I shut it off figuring I’d go back. This morning I started it up and let it run and went about my business. My wife got on the computer and told me there was a problem on #23 and she didn’t know what to do. I, of course, had forgotten all about it by then and was surprised. I went down and loaded #23 and continued. I let it load all 54 sections and I am sated!

I have about 6 or 7 new novels to add, including War and Peace, and I have to finish the novel I’m listening to or get to the end of a section so I can add and get back to where I was. I have to do all this before they expire because the downside of library downloading is the books self destruct in the computer after 14 days. You must remove them to a device or burn them on a disk in order not to destruct. They don’t hurt your computer, they simply cease to work.

They have just added “Play aways”. To the library collections, which are flash memory books, small as a cassette, where you provide the battery and the earbuds and you can take them out for a normal library leaning period.

Lord knows, I may get “War and Peace” loaded onto my MP3 player and get it listened to before I became too old to remember how to work all this equipment.

Art Decisions

My daughter is off again to Montreal on the weekend, ready for year two at McGill University. This year, she has, along with two friends, moved into an apartment. They chose not to be in the “university ghetto” but moved a bit away so they could live with “regular people” but still close enough to walk or use public transportation.


She is getting ready to move furniture, and she and her mother are driving a U-Haul truck up. Sears will deliver the mattress, box spring and frame next week. They are all (my wife and my daughters) at IKEA right now supplementing the “antiques” etc. we already have to go. Her friend left two sofas there she got from her sister who was living in Montreal. My daughter and friends have already spent a night or two there a few weeks ago as we start paying (of course) in July. It’s a twelve month lease. I’ll probably live there in May and June when she comes home, if she does. (Not really)

Her two friends are from Virginia and New York, I guess not surprisingly, as she tends to gravitate to US students. She purposefully chose not to live with music school students as she felt one was enough (her) per apartment. Her friend from Vienna, Virginia was born in Vienna, Austria, so maybe she’s sort of an American.

The art decision took me by surprise. She came to me and wanted four pieces, and asked if she could have them. Of course she could, I was flabbergasted! The fact that art has surrounded her, her whole life did not give me a thought that she would want any. Besides, sooner or later it becomes hers anyway.

Her sister is pissed! She wants it all back, at least most of it. She wants nothing to leave! It amazes me what someone wants around here. If my sister wants it, it’s mine! They clothes shop in each others closets!

Her choices are:

Will Barnet’s “Blue bike”, a large, signed, limited edition poster.



World War One - Liberty Bond Drive Poster


Andy Warhol’s limited edition 1981 poster featuring Kimiko Powers’s image.

My painting from 2001, Casper Returns, also large at 48” x 48” (This one was requested by my daughters roommate from New York, so I don’t want to ask if my daughter wanted it, but I doubt it)



Wonders never cease! I am always amazed by life!

A Dinner to Remember

I was at a meeting in Los Angeles, sometime in the 80’s, and as I came into the lobby after a presentation I ran into Marge Levy maybe at Michigan, probably before she went to Pilchuck in Seattle. She had made reservations at The Rex in LA for dinner for four people, none of whom was named. Was I interested? Of course I was, and we gathered together two others and off we went. I had no idea where we were going or what kind of a restaurant it was; only that she did say it was a bit pricey.


The dinner, as I remember, was wonderful. Pretty Woman wasn’t shot until 1990 so you can imagine the surprise I had when watching the movie and I saw them sitting at the same table (approximately) that we were, although the waiter was different, as ours was not, as far as I know, an actor. This scene includes the "escargot event"

When the bill came, some of us were on expense accounts and some were on per diam. We all received copies (at our request) of the bill. I expensed my portion as dinner for as if it were for four, it was the only way one could spend that much money for one dinner!

Pretty Woman's budget was not limited and producers could acquire as many locations as possible for shooting on the films estimated budget of $14 million. The majority of the film was shot in Los Angeles, California, specifically in Beverly Hills. The escargot restaurant called 'The Voltaire' was filmed at the Rex, now called Cicada. Cicada can be open to shoot your next film as well, they say:

Film Shoots and Photo Sessions

The Oviatt Penthouse provides a uniquely dramatic atmosphere for fashion shoots, wedding photography, commercials and feature films.

The Oviatt Building lobby and elevators, both historic landmarks of considerable beauty, are also available for location work.

Rates are determined on an individual basis, based on the length of the shoot, amount of equipment, number of participants and the degree of involvement of Oviatt Penthouse staff.

A comment in a L.A. restaurant review blog says: Rex was Italian food; Cicada is not. It is still one of the most beautiful, elegant restaurants in Los Angeles, but it is hugely expensive. Unless you're Brad Pitt or Jennifer Aniston, it's the type of place you'd go for a truly once-in-a-lifetime dining experience. I had my one-time experience a few years ago, so I don't really remember what kind of food Cicada serves. I just remember it wasn't Italian and it was delicious. I also recall that the old haberdashery shelves are still in evidence.

Another person said: the late Rex, was in a former menswear store (Oviatt Building). I think it changed hands and names once or twice after the owner died.

This was definitely a great LA experience.

Editors note, 8:30 p.m. Sunday, August 22, 2010

I just heard from my dear old friend George, who reminded me that he was there as well that

weekend. But his stories are very complex. I wrote to him and said: "As well, I write these simple

little ditties without much subtext and you do labyrinthine complexities. I like that. You always

got into these complex events, while I sat simple minded on the ground. It doesn't change and that

makes me comfortable.

Note: I may have just described myself as the Fool on the Hill, what the hell, it fits!